Saturday, May 11, 2024

"I worry that my husband may leave me." OR "I am troubled that my wife no longer loves me." What light is there to dispell our darkness from the Wisdom of God revealed in his Eternal Word?

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There are facts and truths that "sexual libertarians" don't want society or public opinion to know, that even they don't want to know. To sum up those facts - accumulated in different human cultures and societies - we don't need sex to live a full life and be content. To define one's identity on the basis of our sexuality alone is to reduce our human value and dignity. I am a lot more than just my genitalia, and so are you. G.S.

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My purpose in these posts is to bring together significant and, where possible, representative echoes of our best human efforts to make sense of our lives - and of our human sexuality in particular - also including the voice of Jesus Christ, the one Saviour of the world, and testimonies from his Church, such as through her teaching voice, the Magisterium. The Church has been accumulating much valuable wisdom granted her by Almighty God since her foundation at Pentecost. In this way, wherever there is darkness in our human understanding, it will serve to highlight the bright and radiant truth, which is Jesus Christ: "I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me. If you know me, you will know my Father also." John's Gospel 14:6-7 "And this is eternal life, that they may know you, the only true God, and Jesus Christ whom you have sent." John 17:3
Father Gilles Surprenant, priest & poustinik

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Good morning, Woman. 

        "Woman" is the endearing name by which Jesus, dying on the Cross for us, addressed his Mother Mary; when - in his last will and testament decision for her and for John, and all of us - He entrusted her to the care of his Beloved Disciple John as his Mother now, and John as her son - and in John, all of us as her children. This was the greatest title Jesus could give Mary. Every woman is the pinnacle of God's creation, capable of creating with God, and the participation of her husband, other immortal souls embodied in human flesh."

        God our Creator designed us with free will; otherwise, we would be incapable of divine, selfless love, incapable of friendship among ourselves or with God. We would resemble robots, machines, or animals, who have no choice but to be in accord with their nature. A cat can never be a dog.

        Firstly, if you have troubled feelings about your husband, or your children, or yourself, or life; there's really nothing anyone can do about feelings. They just are what they are, and they generally pass. We need to avoid obsessing about them and simply turn our attention to something requiring our attention; such as the duty of the moment, the next thing that needs to be done or taken care of. When all else fails, turn your attention to someone else and care for them: one of your children or all of them together, or your husband, or another family member, or a neighbour, or even a stranger. If your husband decides to walk away, there is nothing you can do about it; nor about his feelings either. Feelings are what they are. Sometimes they add colour to life, at other times they alert us to danger or trouble or hurt requiring our attention, and in the end, they are simply to be accepted or endured.

        Secondly, because of the original sin, we have lost our original innocence. This means that our vision, perspective, and interior weather and landscape are constantly skewed. That is explained at the beginning of the Book of Genesis, the first book in the Christian Bible after it originally began as the first of the five books of the Hebrew Torah or Law, also called the Law of Moses. We are forever in need of hearing this story in a fresh way. Here is one such version, my own.

        God made the first human beings innocent and free to enjoy God's love and all good things. First, He made the man, who got lonely; so, then, He gave him the woman.

        But first, God told the man he had everything he needed but should be wary of thinking he was missing something... the experience of evil. He should not touch nor taste of the fruit of the tree of knowledge of good AND EVIL.

        The woman only got this instruction second hand from the man.

        That's why the devil, the demon, Satan, the fallen angel Lucifer, attacked her. He is a dangerous rebel and brute, who is clever and always attacks us at our weakest point. That's why he attacked her.

        "Try it.", he said. We don't really know what IT was... but it was definitely something EVIL, and in some way pictured or demonstrated IT for her to entice her.

        "No.", she said, "God told us we would die".

        "Oh no.", says the demon." God knows that if you experience evil, you will be like God, knowing EVERYTHING." In other words, the demon made God out to be a liar and a being who was holding back something from them, not wanting them to be like God. This, or course, is the great LIE. 

        So, all things considered, noticing how attractive this now seemed, she went for IT.

        That was her first mistake. She could have said: "Now, hold on a minute. First, I must go and consult my husband." If she had done that, the jig would have been up and the demon might have failed. But no. She brought IT to her husband. Second mistake.

        The man's first big mistake is that he was not vigilant, wasn't concerned for his wife's safety; he didn't ask her: "Where did you get that? Don't you remember what I told you God said to me; that we would die?" But no; he just grabs IT too.

        Then they realized they were naked and hid from God whom they heard coming into the garden as usual for their shared walk.

        "Where are you, Adam?" "I hid, because I am naked. We are naked."

        "Who told you that you are naked? Did you go for the knowledge of good and EVIL I told you not to touch?"

        "The woman You gave me brought IT to me and I went for it." Adam's second big mistake. He didn't take responsibility for himself. He could have admitted what he had done and asked God to forgive him, but no. Our situation might have been better then, but as it is, here we are. Then, he blames the woman instead; third big mistake.

        So, God questions the woman. Same story. She doesn't confess and ask pardon, her third big mistake. Like the man, she blames somebody else, the serpent, the demon. Fourth big mistake.

        God tells the demon he's doomed. The woman's offspring will crush his head as he tries to bite his heel. Jesus will fulfill this. As the demon succeeds in killing Jesus in his human body, Jesus as the infinite Son of God will be killing death itself and overcoming the demon and his armies when He raises his human body and transforms it into an immortal human body, one that can never die anymore.

        God tells the woman that because of all her mistakes, God doesn't have to lift a finger to punish or correct her. This is because she already contains in herself the consequences of having lost trust in God, havign broken trust in her man, having abandoned responsible care for the creatures and for the garden. Her birth pains will be increased, and she will forever be insecure in her relationship with her man. She will forever be grabbing at him, and each time annoyed, he will react and push her away, and dominate her.

        Finally, God tells the man that because of all his mistakes, and because he broke his trust in God his Creator, because he failed in his responsibility to care for and watch over the woman, because he failed to care for the creatures and for the garden, and as a result has failed in his original mandate to cultivate the garden, from this point on, the garden will resist his efforts to cultivate and care for it. His efforts will be misguided and won't work. He will labour more intensively, with profuse sweat, but for meagre results, often getting thorns and thistles instead of good fruit.

        Then, God kills some innocent beasts to make clothing for the man and the woman.

        At last, God sends them out of the garden; since, they have broken trust with God and demonstrated how little they care for God or for friendship with Him. They have shown unwillingness to be responsible and worse, they have attempted to compete with God their Creator himself - rather than continuing to be willing to receive from God his friendship and other gifts in due course - they have tried on their own terms to be equal to their Creator in knowledge and experience, going so far as to add EVIL to their repertoire. The only possible way they can find their way back to friendship with God and responsible care for the garden will be through the trials and difficulties of life, and they will be deprived of the immediacy of God's closeness and his friendship, which they have rejected. They will have to turn away from the pride and greed they have shown and, instead, demonstrate pure desire for God's friendship in order to begin to experience once again his love.

        God's final solution will come when his Son becomes the son of a woman; which Jesus realized when Mary conceived Him by the Holy Spirit. As He grew into a man, He demonstrated to humanity for all time what a pure, unconditionally loving human being looks like in the male mode. The Most Holy Trinity gave us what a pure, unconditionally loving human being looks like in the female mode in Mary of Nazareth, who accepted God's plan and became the Mother of God.

        The moral of the story, my dear woman, my dear sister, is that you can never trust your impressions, thoughts, or feelings about your husband, your man. He doesn't really belong to you; he belongs only to himself, just as you belong only to yourself. In marriage, you give yourself as a total and selfless gift one to the other. This self-giving can never be done once and for all; no, it needs to be given over and over again, each day, and at each moment, and in every circumstance.

        When you decide to turn your attention away from your feelings and attend instead to caring for a family member; then you are fulfilling your vocation to live as a child of God and to make room for divine love within you. You choose to live in sync with the Most Holy Trinity dwelling within you and turn away from the inclinations and traps from the evil one, the old stinker, the father of lies and enemy of humanity. Each day, each moment that your husband doesn't walk away, but remains with you, today, now; take it as a great and undeserved gift to you on his part. In the same way, when you continue to try to care for your husband, no matter how you feel; you are making of yourself a great and undeserved gift to him on your part. It is then up to him to appreciate you as undeserved gift to him; just as it is constantly up to you to appreciate him as undeserved gift to you.

        Only as we turn our will and try to do this, moment by moment, are we accepting God's grace of undeserved merciful love to flow through us, to irrigate every fibre of our bodies, minds, hearts / psyches, and souls, and only then do we become radiant. Then, the world is less dark and others enjoy a bit more light for their steps....

                                                   Pax + Caritas,       Fr. Gilles


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My purpose in these posts is to bring together significant and, where possible, representative echoes of our best human efforts to make sense of our lives - and of our human sexuality in particular - also including the voice of Jesus Christ, the one Saviour of the world, and testimonies from his Church, such as through her teaching voice, the Magisterium. The Church has been accumulating much valuable wisdom granted her by Almighty God since her foundation at Pentecost. In this way, wherever there is darkness in our human understanding, it will serve to highlight the bright and radiant truth, which is Jesus Christ: "I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me. If you know me, you will know my Father also." John's Gospel 14:6-7 "And this is eternal life, that they may know you, the only true God, and Jesus Christ whom you have sent." John 17:3
Father Gilles Surprenant, priest & poustinik

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© 2006-2024 All rights reserved Fr. Gilles Surprenant, Associate Priest of Madonna House Apostolate & Poustinik, Montreal  QC
© 2006-2024 Tous droits réservés Abbé Gilles Surprenant, Prêtre Associé de Madonna House Apostolate & Poustinik, Montréal QC
 

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Tuesday, September 21, 2021

Beyond sex politics is God's unconditional love for every human being. Until we learn and accept to love as God loves, we suffer and cause suffering, but God kindly remains with us in it.

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There are facts and truths that "sexual libertarians" don't want society or public opinion to know, that even they don't want to know. To sum up those facts - accumulated in different human cultures and societies - we don't need sex to live a full life and be content. To define one's identity on the basis of our sexuality alone is to reduce our human value and dignity. I am a lot more than just my genitalia, and so are you. G.S.

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My purpose in these posts is to bring together significant and, where possible, representative echoes of our best human efforts to make sense of our lives - and of our human sexuality in particular - also including the voice of Jesus Christ, the one Saviour of the world, and testimonies from his Church, such as through her teaching voice, the Magisterium. The Church has been accumulating much valuable wisdom granted her by Almighty God since her foundation at Pentecost. In this way, wherever there is darkness in our human understanding, it will serve to highlight the bright and radiant truth, which is Jesus Christ: "I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me. If you know me, you will know my Father also." John's Gospel 14:6-7 
Father Gilles Surprenant, priest & poustinik

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God hates no one; nor should we hate anyone. God has only compassion, understanding, and mercy for all his creatures, and especially for human beings. He offers to fill us with his Spirit; that we too might love one another with the same love and mercy of compassion.

Our Creator God cares for all his creatures and, with a "parent's love", cares for every human being from the very first man and woman to those who will come last to birth at the conclusion of human history. The character and love of God, revealed most graphically in the human life of Jesus of Nazareth, has been named by Him as the love of our heavenly Father. We, by believing in Jesus as the divine / human Son of God, have  become children of God by adoption through faith; as witnessed by Saint John and Saint Paul. The first artwork below is a creative representation giving a glimpse of what Jesus accepted, for love of us, to demonstrate the extreme love God has for us, to suffer in his human body. As well, the attitude Jesus manifests in this image is the serene peace of the King of Kings, the Messiah, who was pleased to accomplish the will of the Father for our redemption; so that we might come to know, to accept, and to love God who has loved us first. 
1 In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. 2 He was in the beginning with God. 3 All things came into being through him, and without him not one thing came into being. What has come into being 4 in him was life, and the life was the light of all people. 5 The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness did not overcome it. 6 There was a man sent from God, whose name was John. 7 He came as a witness to testify to the light, so that all might believe through him. 8 He himself was not the light, but he came to testify to the light. 9 The true light, which enlightens everyone, was coming into the world. 10 He was in the world, and the world came into being through him; yet the world did not know him. 11 He came to what was his own, and his own people did not accept him. 12 But to all who received him, who believed in his name, he gave power to become children of God, 13 who were born, not of blood or of the will of the flesh or of the will of man, but of God. 14 And the Word became flesh and lived among us, and we have seen his glory, the glory as of a father’s only son, full of grace and truth. Gospel of John 1:1-14

3 Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in Christ with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places, 4 just as he chose us in Christ before the foundation of the world to be holy and blameless before him in love. 5 He destined us for adoption as his children through Jesus Christ, according to the good pleasure of his will, 6 to the praise of his glorious grace that he freely bestowed on us in the Beloved. 7 In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses, according to the riches of his grace 8 that he lavished on us. With all wisdom and insight 9 he has made known to us the mystery of his will, according to his good pleasure that he set forth in Christ, 10 as a plan for the fullness of time, to gather up all things in him, things in heaven and things on earth.         Paul to the Ephesians 1:3-10
15 He is the image of the invisible God, the firstborn of all creation; 16 for in him all things in heaven and on earth were created, things visible and invisible, whether thrones or dominions or rulers or powers—all things have been created through him and for him. 17 He himself is before all things, and in him all things hold together. 18 He is the head of the body, the church; he is the beginning, the firstborn from the dead, so that he might come to have first place in everything. 19 For in him all the fullness of God was pleased to dwell, 20 and through him God was pleased to reconcile to himself all things, whether on earth or in heaven, by making peace through the blood of his cross. Paul to the Colossians 1:18
Mary - her Hebrew name is Myriam - was chosen by God to be the Mother of his divine Son, and once He had taken flesh within her womb by the Holy Spirit, she was to name Him Jesus - in Hebrew Yeshua, which means "God saves" - and Mary was warned by the prophet Simeon, an old man in the service of the Temple in Jerusalem, that a sword would pierce her soul. In subsequent years, Mary shared Jesus' sufferings, most dramatically in his passion and death. Now, in eternity, Mary continues to share in the ongoing "passion" of the "Body of Christ" made up of all those who are joined to Christ Jesus as their "Head". The following artwork is an artistic representation of Mary, now in the glory of the Father's "House" in Heaven, continues to care for the "Body of Christ" of which we are members. In particular, she is shown here caring for the innocents who, like those massacred in Bethlehem, continue to be killed because they are unwanted. Though we are at times unable or unwilling to care, God never stops caring, and Mary the Mother of Jesus cares with all the love of God dwelling within her. 


I thank and ask God to bless the "Two Patricks" for sharing with the world these sacred images and our Creator and Father's invitation to love God as given to us in Jesus, and to pray to the Most Holy Trinity for the repentance of sinners and for the salvation of the world from all evil, temptation, deception, and darkness that may oppress it. 


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My purpose in these posts is to bring together significant and, where possible, representative echoes of our best efforts as human beings to make sense of our lives in general - and of our human sexuality in particular - and to also include the voice of Jesus Christ, the one Saviour of the world, and testimonies from his Church, such as through her teaching voice, the Magisterium; given that the Church has been accumulating the wisdom granted her by Almighty God since her foundation at Pentecost. In this way, wherever there is darkness in our human understanding, it will serve to highlight the bright and radiant truth, which is Jesus Christ: "I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me. If you know me, you will know my Father also." John's Gospel 14:6-7     G.S.

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© 2006-2023 All rights reserved Fr. Gilles Surprenant, Associate Priest of Madonna House Apostolate & Poustinik, Montreal  QC
© 2006-2023 Tous droits réservés Abbé Gilles Surprenant, Prêtre Associé de Madonna House Apostolate & Poustinik, Montréal QC
 

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Saturday, March 6, 2021

THE CREATOR'S DESIGN FOR OUR LIFE & HAPPINESS - God has revealed his Plan for us to be able to give meaning & purpose to our lives and in this way to find fulfillment

There are facts and truths that "sexual libertarians" don't want society or public opinion to know, that even they don't want to know. To sum up those facts - accumulated in different human cultures and societies - we don't need sex to live a full life and be content. To define one's identity on the basis of our sexuality alone is to reduce our human value and dignity. I am a lot more than just my genitalia, and so are you. G.S.

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My purpose in these posts is to bring together significant and, where possible, representative echoes of our best human efforts to make sense of our lives - and of our human sexuality in particular - also including the voice of Jesus Christ, the one Saviour of the world, and testimonies from his Church, such as through her teaching voice, the Magisterium. The Church has been accumulating much valuable wisdom granted her by Almighty God since her foundation at Pentecost. In this way, wherever there is darkness in our human understanding, it will serve to highlight the bright and radiant truth, which is Jesus Christ: "I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me. If you know me, you will know my Father also." John's Gospel 14:6-7 
Father Gilles Surprenant, priest & poustinik

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In each case, for the complete article go to the link.

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The next few links offer eloquent testimonies to the incalculable value of human life. Stephanie Gray shows how to enter into a most compassionate dialogue on issues which, for many people, evoke their most painful human experiences. We are called to love others by listening compassionately and taking genuine interest in their stories, because we have much to learn from one another.     G.S.

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In considering abortion as an option, or else before or after trying to understand what might be consequences of having an abortion, it is good to remember that LOVE UNLEASHES LIFE.

Courtroom genetics testimony of Dr. Jerome Lejeune on the wonder of human conception in the Circuit Court for Blount County State of tennessee at Maryville, Tennessee on August 10th, 1989. 


 SEVERAL INFORMATIVE LINKS / LIENS UTILES ET INFORMATIFS

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Everyone wants to succeed. Sadly, we see around us so much failure and heartache... why is that? When we insist on finding our own way alone, we cannot avoid making mistakes, often the same mistakes others have made. It is wise to be willing to learn from the wisdom others have acquired, often painfully and at great cost. Our Church has two millennia of wisdom for life and marriage.    G.S.

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Successful Couples / Réussir son couple 

👉 https://www.diocesemontreal.org/en/life-and-its-seasons/marriage 👈

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We are wise to be willing to learn from others, including the Church and her Magisterium teachings, which provide knowledge, context, and depth regarding human intimacy for our "Life Project".  G.S.

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The Truth and Meaning of Human Sexuality 

👉 Guidelines for Education within the Family 👈

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Human experience accumulates wisdom, and from our collective experience we know for certain that the most effective way to avoid unexpected pregnancy and sexually transmitted infections is to restrict intimate relations to one's life long spouse or simply to abstain from sexual relations altogether. Contrary to widespread disinformation, we don't need sex in order to thrive and experience fulfillment in the meaning and purpose we want to give to our lives. For more information go to:
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Next in all conscience we share this information which suffers under a worldwide embargo preventing the deadly truth from getting out. The primary reason is that women who undergo an abortion - either immediately or later - endure such lasting suffering, physical but more often psychological; that they are ashamed or afraid or both to say anything about it. In time, many courageously admit how much they regret having had an abortion. The scandal is that all too often we men have not stood by our women but abandoned them to carry alone the burden of pregnancy, which is intended by our Creator to be carried by the couple in lifelong blessing and great joy for all concerned. So, be warned.  G.S.

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Abortion and contraception - You have a right and need to know 

👉 HUSH - a liberating conversation about abortion and women's health  👈

Diocese of Montreal  - Scroll down and click the tab TODAY'S CHALLENGES and scroll down to the links provided - Life and Its Seasons - Family

Diocese of Hamilton ON - Natural Family Planning 

U.S.A. National Library of Medicine - Natural Family Planning 

Research and links from Priests for Life Canada - Scroll for Topics under Resources 

Florida Health Services - Foundations of Life - Risks About Abortion 

USCCB: Respect for Unborn Human Life: The Church's Constant Teaching 

JOURNAL OF PSYCHIATRIC RESEARCH - 
Induced abortion and anxiety, mood, and substance abuse disorders: Isolating 
the effects of abortion in the national comorbidity survey - See especially the Discussion on page 6-7. 

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The media - especially mainstream media - are too often more interested in bad news. One effect is that truly GOOD NEWS remains hidden and often hard to find. Here is some really great news about the support that actually exists out there for women abandoned by their man to carry alone the burden of their pregnancy. The GOOD NEWS is that YOU ARE NOT ALONE! Check this out!  G.S.

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Pregnancy Support - My Choices / Soutient Grossesse - Mes Choix 

👉 Pregnancy Care Canada - Chateauguay QC Services Options  👈

Mutual Help Organizations - Catholic Action Montreal 

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It is true that carrying an unexpected pregnancy to term and then giving up the baby for adoption is a difficult sacrifice to make. It's hard to let go once you've "bonded" with your baby for nine months. However, for the rest of your life you will know that you have given life! This is much easier to bear for the rest of your life than knowing that you put an end to a life. See this for yourself!  G.S.

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Canada Adopts -
See your doctor or social worker to offer your baby for adoption

👉 Putting A Baby Up For Adoption in Canada: The Process  👈

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Our Creator is not a cruel God who abandons his creatures to their own devices. No! God actually cares for us and loves us and, in the Holy Spirit, offers us supernatural gifts for our life journey.  G.S.

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Fruits & Gifts of the Holy Spirit
Fruits et Dons de l'Esprit Saint 

👉 http://fruitsetdons.net/fruits-and-gifts.html 👈

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Genuine love for others must begin with authentic and true, properly ordered love for one's own life, receiving our life moment by moment from our Creator as the priceless gift that our life is.   G.S.

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SELF-ESTEEM AND ASSERTION: FOUNDATIONS OF LIFE!
ESTIME ET AFFIRMATION DE SOI : FONDATIONS DE LA VIE !

👉 http://estimeetaffirmationdesoi.ca/self-esteem-and-assertion.html 👈

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Extraterrestrials observing our condom use might rightly conclude that the human species is afraid of its own fertility, and they would be right. Tragically, the facts tell a far scarier story. Selling condoms is a profitable business, the facts threaten the profit margin. Condoms don't deliver the full protection they advertise. The perfect protection from deadly infectious diseases and from unwanted pregnancy is to reserve our fertility for our own spouse for life - before and during marriage.  G.S.

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CHASTITY is the most effective way to avoid STI's 

👉 U.S.A. National Library of Medicine  👈

For the first time in human history, sexual promiscuity and sexually transmitted infections have skyrocketed and are out of control - not to mention the disappointment and heartache....

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The so-called "sexual revolution" of the 1960's messaged women they could enjoy the same "freedom" from responsibility apparently enjoyed by men, but it was a big lie. Men and women become "less manly" and "less feminine" when engaging in senseless and irresponsible sexual activity. Because of the shame involved in abortion, it took decades for women to realize and admit the truth of their suffering because of abortion. Over time, amazing support services developed. Now women can know it is possible to experience healing and to prosper again after an abortion.  G.S.

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POST-ABORTION HEALING RESOURCES IN CANADA

👇 Post Abortion Healing Links 👇

Campaign Life Coalition 

FOCUS ON THE FAMILY - Hope & Healing - Recovery Resources 

Healing for MEN - Knights of Columbus - EWTN Interview text 

Sisters of Life - Hope & Healing 

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PREGNANT AND NOT KNOWING WHAT TO DO? YOU ARE NOT ALONE!  G.S.

---------------------------------------------------------------- I am pregnant and I am thinking about getting an abortion...   Je suis enceinte et je songe à l'avortement... (La barre de navigation en haut à gauche du centre a un bouton FRANÇAIS n'est pas toujours visible... trouvez-le à tâtons....) 

👉 https://pregnancysupportservices.org 👈

WELCOME TO PREGNANCY SUPPORT SERVICES
AND 👉 RELATIONSHIPS ED. 👈
(Site américain en anglais et en espagnol seulement)

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Until recently we could go to the Moon and consider going to Mars, but we still knew so little about a woman's body, fertility, and how it all works together. Feminine fertility and vitality remained one of life's great mysteries. Finally, science is catching up and we now understand so much more about how our feminine fertility works and doctors can actually diagnose missing elements and provide them in simple therapies that allow "infertile" women to enjoy their full fertility. Check this out!  G.S.

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NaProTechnology - Medical and Surgical 
Specialty for Women of Procreative Age
(Site américain en anglais seulement)

👉 https://naprotechnology.com 👈


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My purpose in these posts is to bring together significant and, where possible, representative echoes of our best efforts as human beings to make sense of our lives in general - and of our human sexuality in particular - and to also include the voice of Jesus Christ, the one Saviour of the world, and testimonies from his Church, such as through her teaching voice, the Magisterium; given that the Church has been accumulating the wisdom granted her by Almighty God since her foundation at Pentecost. In this way, wherever there is darkness in our human understanding, it will serve to highlight the bright and radiant truth, which is Jesus Christ: "I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me. If you know me, you will know my Father also." John's Gospel 14:6-7     G.S.

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© 2006-2023 All rights reserved Fr. Gilles Surprenant, Associate Priest of Madonna House Apostolate & Poustinik, Montreal  QC
© 2006-2023 Tous droits réservés Abbé Gilles Surprenant, Prêtre Associé de Madonna House Apostolate & Poustinik, Montréal QC
 

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Thursday, February 11, 2021

"Mommy, Daddy. Please talk to me about love." Parents need to be the first to provide their children with affective formation and sexual education.

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There are facts and truths that "sexual libertarians" don't want society or public opinion to know, that even they don't want to know. To sum up those facts - accumulated in different human cultures and societies - we don't need sex to live a full life and be content. To define one's identity on the basis of our sexuality alone is to reduce our human value and dignity. I am a lot more than just my genitalia, and so are you. G.S.

----------------------------------------------------------------

My purpose in these posts is to bring together significant and, where possible, representative echoes of our best human efforts to make sense of our lives - and of our human sexuality in particular - also including the voice of Jesus Christ, the one Saviour of the world, and testimonies from his Church, such as through her teaching voice, the Magisterium. The Church has been accumulating much valuable wisdom granted her by Almighty God since her foundation at Pentecost. In this way, wherever there is darkness in our human understanding, it will serve to highlight the bright and radiant truth, which is Jesus Christ: "I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me. If you know me, you will know my Father also." John's Gospel 14:6-7 
Father Gilles Surprenant, priest & poustinik

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 PDF version of this file 

“Mommy, Daddy. Please, talk to me about love.”

Notes from a conference in French “S’il-vous-plaît, parlez-moi d’amour”given at the Diocese’s offices March 29th, 2017 by Inès Pélissié du Rausas, a mother who has written books on how parents can form their children well at the various stages of their development in ways appropriate to each age to understand and live well their human sexuality. 


Inès advocates precocious but progressive education of children with tenderness by their parents in contrast to the intrusion of culture and society which, truthfully, is erroneous, violent, and damaging, all too often ruining or at the very least hurting our children’s innocence and ability to appreciate all the beauty, truth, and goodness of the gift of life entrusted to them by God and their own great dignity and that of others.

As lionesses are so ferocious in defending their young; so too should we be as parents to defend and form our children regarding their vocation, their calling to eternal life, which is at stake, and the spiritual strength God offers us within Marriage and family life. While we value traditional marriage, children are born who receive life and love in non-traditional families or households. We probably all know some near or far, and we love them with all our hearts.

Let us think of our own children, of the children of others, of the poor, and of those who at first view may be thought of as on the margins of society. As we put the well-being of our children first, we need to rediscover or to acquire for the first time our backbone and stand up for our children, for our family, for Marriage, for others, for the poor, for the Church, for humanity, and for God.

With the Holy Spirit we have at hand an infinite variety of new solutions to age old problems created when people – motivated by so many hidden goals driving them – tamper with our children and seek to “play around” with their innocent, vulnerable, and trusting hearts. No one must play around with our children’s hearts!

PRESSURES AND LOBBIES

There are 3 lobbies and “outside interests” putting considerable pressure everywhere and all the time on our children, and particularly on what the marketing strategists call “pre-adolescents”. In reality, there is no such thing as a pre-adolescent unless it is in the interest of someone to target children in the “latency stage” in view of influencing them in advance of becoming adolescents. The latency stage is what children live from the age of 6 until puberty, when in principle all sexual things don’t interest them or are even repugnant to them. In other words, there are interests out there addressing our children in the latency stage as though they were already adolescents, or potential adolescents, or children wanting to become adolescents. These interests threaten to interrupt the safety of the latency stage as they prematurely stimulate the imagination of children and, in so doing, damage their innocence.

Tactic # 1.                  Under the pretext of taking the defense of freedoms / liberties and equality, such as, for example, the fight against AIDS, all manner of misinformation and outright lies are propagated, always with the overhanging threat of severe reprisals upon anyone who might dare to oppose this tactic in real life and time.

Tactic # 2.                  Consider all the frantic activity around pornography – such as with the considerable pressure on parents to provide their young children with an I-Pad, or I-Phone, or Laptop, or their equivalent – to sever the safety ties of young children to their parents and make them free to “roam” and be led astray by any number of “wolves” in sheep’s clothing presented to them in any number of creative and cleverly disguised ways.

All pornographic voices and images and words speak of prostitution – none of them speak of love, not of true love, nor of divine love – but always of pleasure, greed, power, and domination. Solicitation to draw children into various forms of prostitution of their bodies as pleasure objects and to treat others not as persons but as pleasure objects often takes violent forms but is always aggressive with dangerous consequences.                             The person of the child is hurt, damaged, within their very self, but they also become dangerous for others by being conditioned to believe that they are incapable of mastering or restraining their own impulses.

SOLUTION                   We must do all we can to protect our children against these attacks and form them to learn to avoid such animal and predatory behaviors as are portrayed and promoted by pornography in all its forms. What is hopeful is that with children we can always repair any damage, and they can always learn and grow. With a child we can always love and begin afresh.

Tactic # 3.                  We have all become painfully aware of and familiar with the latest new ideology which aggressively seeks to impose on young and vulnerable children and adolescents and even young adults a burden to select their own gender, as if our gender were an “à la carte” activity for human beings. Gender ideology negates human sex and gender by replacing male and female with homosexual and heterosexual, M & F with H & H.                                                This new ideology seeks to replace the individuality and complementarity of our human nature as designed by God with pleonasm – that is, with what is the same as, with redundancy – favoring what is the same as me, rejecting what is different from me. It is the destruction of the richness of complementarity for the sake of the identical.

SOLUTION                   We must avoid using any other terms than those given to us by God – male and female – and simply say that I am woman, or I am man, girl or boy. The term “heterosexual” was coined by a German who wanted to promote homosexual activity in the 18th/19th century. He used from the Greek “heteros” which means different and “sexue” or in Latin “sexus” which means separate or different. In other words, the term is redundant, saying the same thing twice. It’s a clever trick to annihilate the final purpose of our human sexuality – which is life and union for life and stability in Marriage and family life – and replace it with individuals seeking after their own pleasure.                      In the Creator’s plan for our happiness, the finality of our human sexuality is union and fecundity, life and family. These other “interests” want to promote “sex ed” – that is, education to sexual practices that it is claimed “everyone wants” and how to practice them providing safety and protection from sexually transmitted infections and diseases. However, there is never any question or concern in “sex ed” to protect the person in all that we are and can be.                        Such “sex ed” ignores and tramples the meaning and beauty of the human body as well as the body’s union to relationship, marriage, children, and family, and the truth that we all want to be loved. All the “dirty” content damages the child’s heart by presenting a perversion of human sexuality. The solution is to reach the child’s heart by treating with the truth, love, beauty, and life, which is good news, and “different from what you have seen”, what is presented out there in the world, in culture, and in the various media of mass and social communication.

SUMMARY         The pre-adolescent or rather the child in the latency and innocent stage is “beaten up or mugged” by publicity which treats him like an adolescent when he isn’t one yet.

First we have to present love as beautiful before we can treat what is dirty, false, violent, exploitative, abusive, etc. We only have to look at video clips that turn various scenarios into pornography. Porn is to be avoided by everyone in all of its forms, because this garbage expresses itself in the heart and hardens it. The world of “hot” folks is actually glacial… cold… without real love which builds the other up without exploiting him or her.

7 to 8 years old is the age of reason which introduces a new form of stability for the child who leaves infancy behind.

6 or 7 to 12 is the latency period during which a form of modesty awakens and manifests itself in different ways. From now on the child wants to bathe alone, now having a greater awareness of himself, of his body. As a result the boy displays a kind of repugnance for everything sexual and even for marks of affection for members of the opposite sex.

The young girl for her part may begin to keep an intimate diary which must be protected from her brothers.

In any case parents must gently open their child to others during this period during which both girls and boys are inclined to close in on themselves.

In the west for the past 100 years puberty has been advancing and showing itself younger; without doubt due to pollution and the increased presence of estrogen in the environment due to the pill and other sources which end up in the waters and the soils and, as a result, in the food chain.

THE CHILD IN THE LATENCY STAGE

Paradox # 1.                       The child is really connected but very alone. He has a great need to be loved. Parents should ask themselves, “Does my child know that I love him?” Even in the culture we see evidence of this unavoidable truth as, for example, in the “Harry Potter” series of novels we see from beginning to end the conviction that “evil can do nothing against the sacrificial love of a mother.”

Paradox # 2.                       Our children need to be absolutely loved by their parents, no matter the conditions. In addition there is the even greater good that they are wanted and loved by God. Let’s do what we must so that they can immerse themselves and bathe in the love of God.

Paradox # 3.                       During this latency stage the child puts forward “me by myself” but for all that we continue to deliberately accompany, congratulate, and surround him with our love, perhaps a little more discretely, but just as truly and personally, despite the new “distance”.

Paradox # 4.                       External autonomy versus interior liberty – The child now becomes more competent in getting around and doing things; but going about taking care of his own needs by himself requires maturity, more than he is likely to have at this age. His incomplete maturity requires a degree of support that varies from one child to another. Parents need to observe and realize that during this latency stage the child cannot yet be really mature or entirely autonomous, despite his declarations, demands, or protests.                                                                                                     Here lies the great challenge for the parent who is too busy and tired: to recharge his strength and energy for the good of the child in his suffering, pain, and shadows. The challenge is all the greater for the parent still living with his own sufferings, pain, and shadows; which he must manage privately in order to continue providing the emotional education of the child. This emotional education of the child becomes all the more difficult in view of the child’s own interior states. At this level, what the parent is going through can make him more compassionate to the states through which his child is passing, and this same compassion can allow the parent to sufficiently forget himself to attend to his child’s needs.                                                                                                             In the matter of emotional education in his human nature and sexuality, the child has the right to see, to hear, and to know his parents’ love story, and thus, his origins. It doesn’t matter if one of the parents and spouses is no longer around. The remaining parent must put aside all recrimination he may feel against his ex- spouse; because the child has both the right and the need to know about his origins in the love that his parents had for one another, and hence, for him their child.

EMOTIONAL AND SEXUAL EDUCATION OF CHILDREN BEFORE ADOLESCENCE

The emotional and sexual education of our children needs to happen before they enter into adolescence, and it can begin as soon as they ask questions that remotely or closely touch all that has to do with their origin or sexuality. This education of the child by their parent must always be done with great tenderness and affection; for this is the most faithful expression of the truth about love which gives life not only at the beginning but which continues to give life all during life. Given the human and cultural situation in which we currently live, parents need reference points in order to effectively embark on the emotional and sexual education of their children.

Reference point # 1.                        Human love is lived in the world of human persons. Human beings are not things, not animals, not machines, not toys, but persons. We, human beings, we are a living network of body, soul, spirit, mind, and heart. So we’re not talking about a model of animal instinct as in wild or domesticated beasts. We are not human beasts, but rather human persons. This is why we absolutely reject all forms of pornography, of prostitution, or of perverted sexuality which, in every case, showcases instinctual, impulsive, and therefore, animal behaviors and activities.  

Reference point # 2.                        Your body – is youit is not a thing which belongs to you, but you are your body at the same time that you are also your soul, your spirit, your mind, and your heart, which all together form the person that you are. So what your body lives, you live it too. That is why all behaviours which deform the human person and human sexuality by whatever pornographic expression – such as submission to concupiscence or instinctive behaviours such as fellatio and others – are a violence against and a disruption of your dignity.                                                       Serial or repeated sexual relations harden the heart which becomes incapable of truly loving or being loved; which brings deep suffering of isolation and interior cold. Having recourse to pornography causes the person with a hard heart no longer to believe in real love or even in life. Such a person may either be swallowed up in the impulse to suicide or may seek an escape in the artificial option of “no sex” or refusing to identify with any gender: “I am neither male nor female, neither man nor woman”.

Reference point # 3.                        Faced with all this pollution of ideas, of propaganda, and of interior states, what do we say to our children? “I am made to love… I have a heart.” The parent can and must soak the heart of their child in love and the child will himself or herself recognize “garbage” assertions. In the same way that one must wax well with many repetitions a piece of furniture made from high quality wood to protect it from stains; so must parents “wax well” their children’s hearts, spirits, minds, and souls. The “layers” of wax are so many intimate moments of complicity with their child as they entertain all sorts of assertions about love – about their parents’ love but also about God’s love – of which he, the child, is the product and of which he continues to be the object, and of which he is also now becoming the subject, capable of loving in his turn in a disinterested fashion with a sacrificial love; ever seeking to serve the good of the other, the beloved.

Creative use of language to convey the profound beauty and meaning of our affections and human sexuality

The mommy’s tummy, the mommy’s uterus is a sanctuary of life and safe cradle for the baby right next to the mommy’s heart where the baby hears his mommy’s heart, and together they make the music of two hearts beating together.

How will the baby come out of mommy’s tummy? The baby will come out by a little path reserved for life and for love, reserved for the baby to live, and also reserved for love and therefore for the daddy.

The vagina of the mommy is made only for life and for love.

The anus is for something else, to let the body get rid of garbage.

The channel for pee is also for getting rid of garbage, even if it seems to be the same channel for two different things, it is only part of it which is shared, but by only one thing at a time.

How did the baby get into mommy’s tummy?

Path of love # 1.            The baby entered into mommy’s tummy by the same special path that the baby will take to come out on his birthday. It is the little path reserved for life and for love, for the heart.

Path of love # 2.            Daddy and Mommy love each other and tell each other, but it isn’t enough – just like when you are glad to see me and give me a hug – so Daddy and Mommy give each other a special hug.

Path of love # 3.            When the heart of the daddy and the mommy are full of love; then the daddy’s heart is also full of love and he is able to give all his love to the mommy. The Daddy’s rod gently lifts up and is able to enter into the mommy’s path which is reserved for life and for love.

Path of love # 4.            Then there is a crowning of their love… there is great joy in their united hearts and bodies, and it is from this love that the child begins to exist in the mommy’s tummy.

ADOLESCENTS

The education of our children sits squarely in our right and our duty to think and to speak. Various ideologies try to intimidate us and reduce us to silence, but it is more essentially our right and our duty to speak with precision to our children who, for their part, have both the right and the need to know the whole truth about their life and their origin, their human nature, and their human sexuality. Adolescents now observe the dichotomy among the various voices demanding their attention and allegiance; so we must approach them with a much more precise language.

Approach # 1.                   Confronted by all the voices speaking of human sexuality, with adolescents we need to talk all the more precisely, because they have a greater need to understand more concretely and specifically.

Approach # 2.                   We must also speak to them of the interior battle and of self mastery; that as human persons we have a great capacity for self-control, but we must exercise it, and that our self mastery grows with time and practice (just as sin and irresponsibility also grow stronger), and that the love of God is the source of our interior strength. It is God who loves us first and who draws us to love Him, to love others, and to love ourselves.

Approach # 3.                   It is good and necessary for us to elicit in the child – and eventually the adolescent – admiration for the perfection of love. Loving is like having a good voice. To sing well one must see and know the partition well. The lyrics and notes of the partition are: respect for the other, fidelity to the other, tenderness towards the other, and paying attention to the expectations of the other.

Approach # 4.                   Homophilia – at the beginning of adolescence youth find reassurance in their peers and can feel all kinds of emotions towards their peers, but there is nothing sexual about it. However, in our time we bear the burden of a culture which has been manipulated for decades by those with strategic agendas to change society’s attitudes. This culture tries to sexualize the other. Unfortunately, this sexualization of the other makes it very difficult to engage in any ordinary, true, and disinterested friendship without having any sexual overtones.

Approach # 5.                   One must certainly not listen to voices that advocate “trying everything” in terms of sexual activity, because we have a “body memory” which even after a single act colors everything that follows. That is why outside of the loving relationship of one man and one woman in a committed, permanent, exclusive, and faithful union, such as in marriage, all sexual activity conditions the human heart on a path of egoism and the quest for personal pleasure; which hardens the human heart and makes true love all the more difficult.

Approach # 6.                   A youth can become aware of a “dragger” or homosexual predator trying to impose on him or her. This youth must understand – this is absolutely essential – that “feeling” something is not “consenting”. The youth, like any human person, remains ever free to ask himself, “What do I want?” and “Is this good or not?” the “No!” of which I am capable in my conscience protects me in order to one day be able to say a beautiful “Yes!” to the person that I will choose to love and who will love me in return.

Approach # 7.                   The young adolescent woman like the young adult woman can find herself temporarily in the condition of “homo femini” or fear of male sexuality because of its violent portrayal in pornography. She must learn from her parents that it isn’t really like that in a loving relationship between human persons.

Parents, enjoy many gratuitous moments sitting down face to face with your child. See the relationship of befriending when the fox meets the little prince. We must approach gently, and that takes time. For boys, it’s better by the father; but if not, the mother must do it. For example, the mother can say to him, “Your father and I want to tell you…”

THE SPIRITUAL LIFE OF CHILDREN

Original sin consists in man and woman turning away from their relationship with God the Creator to prefer making up their own life, their own reality, their own universe, their own definition of human life and of good and evil. There is nothing more painful in our human condition than this isolation from God, who is not only our origin in life and in love but also our final destiny for eternal life and perfection of love and communion.

That is why it is essential for parents to introduce their child to God. However, we cannot give what we do not already possess. Still, with God, it is never too late. So, the simple realization by parents that there is somewhere within them some sort of desire to give their children what is best can already open within them the gateway to all that is “beyond”. These are the opportunities in real time, in the present moment, to give their children the “sacraments” or knowledge of God, or prayer, or spirituality, or faith. The Holy Spirit is ever present and eager to supply our weakness and guide us.

The heart of the Judeo-Christian Tradition is clearly that the God who is good and loving, the Creator of the Universe, wants to have a relationship of friendship and love with every human person. God, who is infinitely rich, wants to give us everything, but all the obstacles that exist are within us… the “gates” within us are not always open, or else they are not always open wide. God our Creator shows such an extreme respect for our freedom that God seems to us to be absent or silent. This impression is false, because as soon as we open ourselves to God, the Holy Three in One are right here.

BAPTISMAt Baptism God the Holy Trinity engenders within the human person a “family relationship” of adoption introducing the person – even a newborn baby – into the heart of the relationship of communion already existing from all eternity and which “defines” the divine being we call God and whose nature Jesus has revealed as a “communion of divine persons in a single divine being”. The life that exists in God in perfect love and perfect harmony begins to “flow” or “vibrate” in us, and we begin to “live in God”. As for everything else regarding our human life on Earth, this new life “in God” must be cultivated, first by our parents and godparents, but gradually by the free and motivated participation of the child himself or herself. In time, the presence and love of God can be experienced as a “spiritual fire” within.

CONFIRMATIONWhether it is the day after its birth or at 11 / 12 years old, at its confirmation or chrismation the child receives a new “effusion” or “outpouring of the Holy Spirit of God” as the apostles and 100 or so other disciples received while they were gathered around the Mother of Jesus in the Upper Room on the day of Pentecost. The Holy Spirit is ever at work to infuse his gifts: piety for greater respect for the works of God, especially man and woman, girl / boy; and all the other spiritual gifts for the person and the charisms for the good of others and the Church. Parents can / must help their child to see himself or herself as loved by God and that they receive themselves from God in love. Their gender – female or male / woman or man – was given to them at their conception and will ever manifest itself and develop.

HOLY COMMUNIONas the mother gives of her blood / milk in nursing her baby at the maternal breast, so does Jesus – risen from the dead and Son of God – give of himself as spiritual food to communicants, giving us in Holy Communion a veritable “transfusion” of the divine life He possesses with his Father and the Holy Spirit. Our sharing in the divine life of love which is in God and in which we are initiated through Baptism is in a continual process of development and not yet “permanent” on Earth, and it will only be permanent in Heaven when we will have accomplished our life and mission.

ANOINTING OF THE SICKAs He did in Palestine, Jesus continues to heal the sick and wounded while forgiving sins and driving out evil spirits who at various times torment the baptised. Sometimes physically healing and other times not, at all times God manifests his sovereign divine will; our Creator and Redeemer knows what we need most in view of our eternal destiny, and often what God wants to give us may not be what we want or ask. We need to trust in God.

PENANCE – RECONCILIATIONJesus allows us to meet Him face to face as He did when He walked the Earth through the representatives He gives himself and whom He sends us in the persons of his priests (HOLY ORDERS).

MARRIAGETo those who believe in Him and who put their trust in Him Jesus vouches that their love will reflect his faithful and sacrificial love for his Church, his Beloved, the body of all his assembled faithful disciples. When couples – both the man and the woman – practice putting their faith in God and make room for him in their personal lives and also in their couple; then their Marriage becomes truly sacramental. Christ manifests his love for the woman through her husband, and for the man through his wife. In their couple, their love becomes a true reflection of the Holy Trinity.

P.S.: Genesis portrays God’s creation of humans as man and woman in original innocence, with an amazing capacity for authentic friendship and selfless, self-sacrificial love. The enemy of humanity seeks to “sexualize” our capacity for friendship in order to reduce us to slavery and deprive us of the liberty of the children of God. Sin divided us into man or woman. Patriarchy is domination by man. Feminism reduces us to neither man nor woman. Gender ideology seeks to neutralize our innate human gender as woman or man by replacing our identity with the illusion of a “choice”. For its part, the “gay” culture and homosexual “lobby” prey on young children before puberty and young adolescents who are likely to be experiencing temporary “Homophilia” as they develop, in a deliberate strategy to impose their ideology on them precisely when they are most vulnerable. Their objective is to have the young “fall” and identify themselves as “gay” or “lesbian” and, reducing them to sexual activity, deny and abandon their great dignity as girl or boy, woman or man, in accord with the gender with which they were endowed at their conception. The good news is that Jesus Christ our Lord restores lost innocence and our capacity for the reciprocal gift of self for which our gender as man or woman empowers us, God’s gift to enable us to live our human life and love in the image and likeness of God the Holy Trinity.

These notes were taken from a conference given March 29th, 2017 at the offices of the Archdiocese of Montreal by Inès Pélissié du Rausas with added thoughts by me. He book containing a much more complete and detailed explanation of her instructions to parents is entitled:

“S’il te plait, parle-moi de l’amour ! »


It is available from Amazon in France at THIS LINK or at Amazon.ca at THIS LINK

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My purpose in these posts is to bring together significant and, where possible, representative echoes of our best efforts as human beings to make sense of our lives in general - and of our human sexuality in particular - and to also include the voice of Jesus Christ, the one Saviour of the world, and testimonies from his Church, such as through her teaching voice, the Magisterium; given that the Church has been accumulating the wisdom granted her by Almighty God since her foundation at Pentecost. In this way, wherever there is darkness in our human understanding, it will serve to highlight the bright and radiant truth, which is Jesus Christ: "I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me. If you know me, you will know my Father also." John's Gospel 14:6-7     G.S.

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© 2006-2023 All rights reserved Fr. Gilles Surprenant, Associate Priest of Madonna House Apostolate & Poustinik, Montreal  QC
© 2006-2023 Tous droits réservés Abbé Gilles Surprenant, Prêtre Associé de Madonna House Apostolate & Poustinik, Montréal QC
 

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