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There are facts and truths that "sexual libertarians" don't want society or public opinion to know, that even they don't want to know. To sum up those facts - accumulated in different human cultures and societies - we don't need sex to live a full life and be content. To define one's identity on the basis of our sexuality alone is to reduce our human value and dignity. I am a lot more than just my genitalia, and so are you. G.S.
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My purpose in these posts is to bring together significant and, where possible, representative echoes of our best human efforts to make sense of our lives - and of our human sexuality in particular - also including the voice of Jesus Christ, the one Saviour of the world, and testimonies from his Church, such as through her teaching voice, the Magisterium. The Church has been accumulating much valuable wisdom granted her by Almighty God since her foundation at Pentecost. In this way, wherever there is darkness in our human understanding, it will serve to highlight the bright and radiant truth, which is Jesus Christ: "I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me. If you know me, you will know my Father also." John's Gospel 14:6-7 "And this is eternal life, that they may know you, the only true God, and Jesus Christ whom you have sent." John 17:3
Father Gilles Surprenant, priest & poustinik
Good morning, Woman.
"Woman" is the endearing name by which Jesus, dying on the Cross for us, addressed his Mother Mary; when - in his last will and testament decision for her and for John, and all of us - He entrusted her to the care of his Beloved Disciple John as his Mother now, and John as her son - and in John, all of us as her children. This was the greatest title Jesus could give Mary. Every woman is the pinnacle of God's creation, capable of creating with God, and the participation of her husband, other immortal souls embodied in human flesh."
God our Creator designed us with free will; otherwise, we would
be incapable of divine, selfless love, incapable of friendship
among ourselves or with God. We would resemble robots, machines,
or animals, who have no choice but to be in accord with their
nature. A cat can never be a dog.
Firstly, if you have troubled feelings about your husband, or
your children, or yourself, or life; there's really nothing anyone
can do about feelings. They just are what they are, and they
generally pass. We need to avoid obsessing about them and simply
turn our attention to something requiring our attention; such as
the duty of the moment, the next thing that needs to be done or
taken care of. When all else fails, turn your attention to someone
else and care for them: one of your children or all of them
together, or your husband, or another family member, or a
neighbour, or even a stranger. If your husband decides to walk
away, there is nothing you can do about it; nor about his
feelings either. Feelings are what they are. Sometimes they add
colour to life, at other times they alert us to danger or trouble or hurt requiring our attention, and in the end, they are simply to be accepted or endured.
Secondly, because of the original sin, we have lost our original
innocence. This means that our vision, perspective, and interior
weather and landscape are constantly skewed. That is explained at
the beginning of the Book of Genesis, the first book in the Christian Bible after it originally began as the first of the five books of the Hebrew Torah or Law, also called the Law of Moses. We are forever in need of hearing this
story in a fresh way. Here is one such version, my own.
God made the first human beings innocent and free to enjoy God's love and all good things. First, He made the man, who got lonely; so, then, He gave him the woman.
But first, God told the man he had everything he needed but should be wary of thinking he was missing something... the experience of evil. He should not touch nor taste of the fruit of the tree of knowledge of good AND EVIL.
The woman only got this instruction second hand from the man.
That's why the devil, the demon, Satan, the fallen angel Lucifer, attacked her. He is a dangerous rebel and brute, who is clever and always attacks us at our weakest point. That's why he attacked her.
"Try it.", he said. We don't really know what IT was... but it was
definitely something EVIL, and in some way pictured or demonstrated IT for her to entice her.
"No.", she said, "God told us we would die".
"Oh no.", says the demon." God knows that if you experience evil, you will be like God, knowing EVERYTHING." In other words, the demon made God out to be a liar and a being who was holding back something from them, not wanting them to be like God. This, or course, is the great LIE.
So, all things considered, noticing how attractive this now seemed, she went for IT.
That was her first mistake. She could have said: "Now, hold on a minute. First, I must go and consult my husband." If she had done that, the jig would have been up and the demon might have failed. But no. She brought IT to her husband. Second mistake.
The man's first big mistake is that he was not vigilant, wasn't concerned for his wife's safety; he didn't ask her: "Where did you get that? Don't you remember what I told you God said to me; that we would die?" But no; he just grabs IT too.
Then they realized they were naked and hid from God whom they heard coming into the garden as usual for their shared walk.
"Where are you, Adam?" "I hid, because I am naked. We are naked."
"Who told you that you are naked? Did you go for the knowledge of good and EVIL I told you not to touch?"
"The woman You gave me brought IT to me and I went for it." Adam's second big mistake. He didn't take responsibility for himself. He could have admitted what he had done and asked God to forgive him, but no. Our situation might have been better then, but as it is, here we are. Then, he blames the woman instead; third big mistake.
So, God questions the woman. Same story. She doesn't confess and ask pardon, her third big mistake. Like the man, she blames somebody else, the serpent, the demon. Fourth big mistake.
God tells the demon he's doomed. The woman's offspring will crush his head as he tries to bite his heel. Jesus will fulfill this. As the demon succeeds in killing Jesus in his human body, Jesus as the infinite Son of God will be killing death itself and overcoming the demon and his armies when He raises his human body and transforms it into an immortal human body, one that can never die anymore.
God tells the woman that because of all her mistakes, God doesn't have to lift a finger to punish or correct her. This is because she already contains in herself the consequences of having lost trust in God, havign broken trust in her man, having abandoned responsible care for the creatures and for the garden. Her birth pains will be increased, and she will forever be insecure in her relationship with her man. She will forever be grabbing at him, and each time annoyed, he will react and push her away, and dominate her.
Finally, God tells the man that because of all his mistakes, and because he broke his trust in God his Creator, because he failed in his responsibility to care for and watch over the woman, because he failed to care for the creatures and for the garden, and as a result has failed in his original mandate to cultivate the garden, from this point on, the garden will resist his efforts to cultivate and care for it. His efforts will be misguided and won't work. He will labour more intensively, with profuse sweat, but for meagre results, often getting thorns and thistles instead of good fruit.
Then, God kills some innocent beasts to make clothing for the man
and the woman.
At last, God sends them out of the garden; since, they have broken trust with God and demonstrated how little they care for God or for friendship with Him. They have shown unwillingness to be responsible and worse, they have attempted to compete with God their Creator himself - rather than continuing to be willing to receive from God his friendship and other gifts in due course - they have tried on their own terms to be equal to their Creator in knowledge and experience, going so far as to add EVIL to their repertoire. The only possible way they can find their way back to friendship with God and responsible care for the garden will be through the trials and difficulties of life, and they will be deprived of the immediacy of God's closeness and his friendship, which they have rejected. They will have to turn away from the pride and greed they have shown and, instead, demonstrate pure desire for God's friendship in order to begin to experience once again his love.
God's final solution will come when his Son becomes the son of a woman; which Jesus realized when Mary conceived Him by the Holy Spirit. As He grew into a man, He demonstrated to humanity for all time what a pure, unconditionally loving human being looks like in the male mode. The Most Holy Trinity gave us what a pure, unconditionally loving human being looks like in the female mode in Mary of Nazareth, who accepted God's plan and became the Mother of God.
The moral of the story, my dear woman, my dear sister, is that you can never trust your impressions, thoughts, or feelings about your husband, your man. He doesn't really belong to you; he belongs only to himself, just as you belong only to yourself. In marriage, you give yourself as a total and selfless gift one to the other. This self-giving can never be done once and for all; no, it needs to be given over and over again, each day, and at each moment, and in every circumstance.
When you decide to turn your attention away from your feelings and attend instead to caring for a family member; then you are fulfilling your vocation to live as a child of God and to make room for divine love within you. You choose to live in sync with the Most Holy Trinity dwelling within you and turn away from the inclinations and traps from the evil one, the old stinker, the father of lies and enemy of humanity. Each day, each moment that your husband doesn't walk away, but remains with you, today, now; take it as a great and undeserved gift to you on his part. In the same way, when you continue to try to care for your husband, no matter how you feel; you are making of yourself a great and undeserved gift to him on your part. It is then up to him to appreciate you as undeserved gift to him; just as it is constantly up to you to appreciate him as undeserved gift to you.
Only as we turn our will and try to do this, moment by moment, are we
accepting God's grace of undeserved merciful love to flow through
us, to irrigate every fibre of our bodies, minds, hearts /
psyches, and souls, and only then do we become radiant. Then, the
world is less dark and others enjoy a bit more light for their
steps....
Father Gilles Surprenant, priest & poustinik
© 2006-2024 All rights reserved Fr. Gilles Surprenant, Associate Priest of Madonna House Apostolate & Poustinik, Montreal QC
© 2006-2024 Tous droits réservés Abbé Gilles Surprenant, Prêtre Associé de Madonna House Apostolate & Poustinik, Montréal QC
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