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There are facts and truths that "sexual libertarians" don't want society or public opinion to know, that even they don't want to know. To sum up those facts - accumulated in different human cultures and societies - we don't need sex to live a full life and be content. To define one's identity on the basis of our sexuality alone is to reduce our human value and dignity. I am a lot more than just my genitalia, and so are you. G.S.
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My purpose in these posts is to bring together significant and, where possible, representative echoes of our best human efforts to make sense of our lives - and of our human sexuality in particular - also including the voice of Jesus Christ, the one Saviour of the world, and testimonies from his Church, such as through her teaching voice, the Magisterium. The Church has been accumulating much valuable wisdom granted her by Almighty God since her foundation at Pentecost. In this way, wherever there is darkness in our human understanding, it will serve to highlight the bright and radiant truth, which is Jesus Christ: "I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me. If you know me, you will know my Father also." John's Gospel 14:6-7
Father Gilles Surprenant, priest & poustinik
Lifelong Effects of Abortion on Men – A Robbed Manhood…
August
26, 2014 by Katrina
Fernandez Leave a Comment
Little
attention is given to men when the topic of abortion is raised. Many believe
since men don’t have a uterus they don’t have the right to an opinion on the
matter. But a pregnancy doesn’t involve just the pregnant woman. Many people
are involved – a child yet born, future and/or existing siblings, grandparents,
and yes, a father.
Not only
does abortion hurt women, it ruins the lives of men as well. It robs them of
the fatherhood and effects the way they see themselves as a man.
Let me introduce my friend R. We met about 3 years ago at a Rachel’s Vineyard retreat. He allowed me to share his story.
R.
admitted how profoundly he’d been changed after an abortion his girlfriend, now
ex-wife, underwent when they were teenagers. They both felt crushing parental
pressure to have an abortion. As scared teenagers they went to their parents
for help. Instead they got sermons and statistics thrown at them.
“Young
parents have a lower success rate of finishing college. The odds were
insurmountable. It would be cruel to bring an unwanted baby into the world that
would just burden everyone. Think of the cost. Think of the delayed or
abandoned plans and dream. Abortion is the best thing”, they rationalized.
R. shared
with us how he and his girlfriend never wanted to end the pregnancy but neither
had the courage to stand up against their parents, who they trusted to know
better.
He
vividly recalled his ex-wife, then a terrified 18 year old girl, staring at him
with desperate pleading eyes. She wanted him to stand up and firmly say “This
is my child too. You will not have an abortion. We can cope.”
Instead
he looked away.
The
decision was made by their parents and the following week they drove her to the
clinic. It was done.
Lifelong Effects of
Abortion on Men – A Robbed Manhood… continued
They
eventually got married and had several more children together but from the
moment he looked away from his pregnant girlfriend’s gaze and surrender his responsibility
as a father he lost a good deal of his manhood and a great deal of her respect.
He also
lost the ability to make decisions. He didn’t trust himself to make the right
choices and second guessed himself at every turn. So he stopped making them
altogether.
As a
result his wife ran his life, making all major decisions in the family, and she
resented his spineless ineptitude to take charge. He was a coward at work, with
his friends, his wife, and eventually his children. No one respected him because
he lacked firm resolve.
Not only
did R. lose his first child to abortion, he also lost his manhood, his
fatherhood, and his self respect.
He and
his ex-wife no longer speak and the children are grown and estranged to him.
He’s never met his two grandchildren.
One
single abortion, with promises of a better future, was supposed to solve all
their youthful problems. Ultimately it destroyed two generations of his family
and caused endless heartache.
Abortion
is a horrible evil. We often say we want better for our daughters, but we
should also demand better for our sons too.
Men need
to know the lifelong effect abortion can have on their psyches. When men are
tested by life and found wanting it ruins their self worth and can potentially
damage all their future relationships.
R.’s
situation is more than just an anecdotal accounting of abortion. It’s backed by
psychological research into the subject.
Masculine
identity may be damaged when men fail to keep those they love from harm. Role
confusion or a sense of emasculation may occur if men are not allowed to act on
their healthy instinct to protect or when they judge themselves to have failed
as guardians. In an attempt to fulfill their perceived role as one of stoic
support to their partners, men tend to contain their own emotions and put on a
brave face.
Ironically,
men’s efforts to be strong for their partners by repressing their own emotions
may lead to complicated or unresolved grief or to clinical depression. – Men and Abortion:
Psychological Effects by Catherine T. Coyle, RN, PhD.
Anything
that promises a quick fix to life’s challenges always has a higher price to pay
in the end. Make sure your sons know that and know that they can come to you
for love and support should they ever find themselves in R’s position.
MORE LINKS
Men and Abortion: Finding Healing, Restoring Hope by the Knights of Columbus
http://www.uffl.org/pdfs/vol27/UFL_2017_Coyle.pdf
© 2006-2021 All rights reserved Fr. Gilles Surprenant, Associate Priest of Madonna House Apostolate & Poustinik, Montreal QC
© 2006-2021 Tous droits réservés Abbé Gilles Surprenant, Prêtre Associé de Madonna House Apostolate & Poustinik, Montréal QC
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