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There are facts, truths that "sexual libertarians" don't want the public to know, that even they don't want to know. The Word of God tells us we don't need sex to live a full life and be content. To narrowly define one's identity on the basis of sexuality alone reduces our human value and dignity. G.S.
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My purpose in these posts is to bring together echoes of our best human efforts to make sense of our lives and human sexuality - and include the voice of Jesus Christ, and testimonies and teachings of his Church. The Church has been accumulating much valuable wisdom from Almighty God since her foundation at Pentecost. Jesus Christ declared: "I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me. If you know me, you will know my Father also." John's Gospel 14:6-7 "And this is eternal life, that they may know you, the only true God, and Jesus Christ whom you have sent." John 17:3
Father Gilles Surprenant, priest & poustinik
Affective formation and sexual education of children by their own parents, whenever possible, is the best way to immunize children against misinformation and the manipulation of others - whether by individuals or bullies, or by ideological entities.
Regarding the practice of the faith and parenting, the most enlightening, practical, and encouraging counsel I ever heard was given to an audience of Church leaders and parents in April, 2017, here in Montreal, by a French woman from France, wife, mother, and educator: Inès Pélissié du Rausas. Her topic was addressed to parents regarding forming their children to understand their emotions, and the emotions of others, and to learn how to master their affectivity and not be frightened or manipulated by emotions, their own, or those of others; which includes peers and peer pressure and bullying. Regardless of culture or social class or economic condition, children go through difficult emotions. If they feel they have no one to confide in, they are at risk to work out their emotions by taking them out on others. This is how one kind of bully is born. Or else, they can become a target for others to bully them. It is the prevalence of bullying in schools today, worldwide, that prompts me to write these lines.
In addition, she also gave practical tips for answering children's questions about love, sexuality, babies, family, and any other topics relating to these, directly or indirectly. She noted that children become curious about these things as early as two years of age, and they deserve answers appropriate to their age, but also by first asking them to explain their question. They often ask something much simpler than we think by the words they use. For example, a 7-year old asking "Mom, Dad, where do I come from?" may be asking this question because her teachers asked the kids what country or ethnic background they are from. So, in this case, it has nothing to do with sex at all. You no doubt have learned this from your four children, that you first need to understand the origin of their questions.
Inès demonstrated such competence, extensive experience, and hopefulness for family life and parenting, that I took copious notes. I share my notes with you. Let me know if any of the links don't work. Her photo and a very brief bio are on a page of the website by I.T.C. - Institut de Théologie du Corps - in France. Some of her books are available at Renaud-Bray.
Her most encouraging statement was that every little effort by parents to help their children understand their own emotions and those of others protects them against the "bruises" of life. She said it's like having a new and precious piece of furniture in natural wood. In order to protect it from stains, you apply many coats of wax or oil; which makes it impervious to stains.
When children are given by their own parents an ongoing formation in affectivity, and also about human sexuality and its role in human and family life and happiness, when they come up against false information or attacks against their faith or the integrity of their parents and family, the "coats of wax or oil" applied over years by their parents protects them from taking any serious hurt in their sense of identity, faith, and confidence in themselves, their parents, and their family.
One of her suggestions, I found a little strange at first. She urges parents to use a "new vocabulary" to speak about sexuality to their children, from as young as two years old. There are three forms of language about human sexuality: medical terms, coarse street terms, and what she suggests as "faith terms".
Medical terms point to body parts, but say nothing about their role in relationships or in God's plan for our happiness through marriage and family.
Street terms convey the impression that sex is something "dirty", "secret", and about things done that promise to be exciting, but are not approved; the understanding is that these are things you wouldn't want your parents to know about. If this is the only language kids pick up, it drags them into secrecy and hiding their emotions and behaviours from their parents. This can cause serious disruption of family life and parenting.
Creative "faith" terms are very evocative of the meaning embedded in our human sexuality, about expressing affection and respect for others, about God's plan for our happiness, and, ultimately, within marriage, about creating new life out of love.
For example, parents could refer to the mother's "vagina" as her "womb" - as in the Hail Mary - or also as the "cradle of life". Such language creates a context for the couple relationship between husband and wife, and how they each have a role in the creation of new life, and how God is involved and present at every step in this process. Children begin to really sense their own dignity when they discover that God was present and manifesting his power of love in their mother and father and in the love between them, which brought them into being.
In this way, they are never in danger of thinking that they may have been an "accident" or "unwanted", "unloved"; because God himself knew them, loved them, and wanted them to exist, even when they were only a "golden egg" in their mother and a "golden key" in their father. When the golden key opened the golden egg, they began to live and grow.
I just made up these terms out of remembering Inès' talk. I don't recall whether she suggested terms of her own for ovum and sperm, but if you are a parent, or preparing to become one, then, you are bright enough to understand; so, I'm sure you get the idea.
Please feel free to share these notes with others.
Father Gilles Surprenant, priest & poustinik
© 2006-2026 All rights reserved Fr. Gilles Surprenant, Associate Priest of Madonna House Apostolate & Poustinik, Montreal QC
© 2006-2026 Tous droits réservés Abbé Gilles Surprenant, Prêtre Associé de Madonna House Apostolate & Poustinik, Montréal QC
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